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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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So, I call up my buddy Jan. He’s the handyman, but he’s also a bit of a jokester. He shows up with a toolbox that looks like it’s been through a war. “What’s up, champ?” he says, grinning. I’m like, “Dude, my oven’s toast!” He laughs, but I’m not in the mood for jokes.

Figure 3 Palaeogeographic map of the Roman Netherlands showing sites on...